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As you may be aware, on October 5,
the wanted felon Gene Ingram slithered into town with a pack of lies and
talked with the State College police of PA, and filed a trumped-up
criminal charge against me for "terroristic threats" he claimed I had
made on April 11, consisting of the phrase "BLOW UP YOUR LOCAL CHURCH OF
SCIENTOLOGY TODAY!" I naturally deny this. The entire thread in which
the so-called "bomb threat" occurred is available at
http://nyx10.cs.du.edu:8001/~anon2c9e/forgery and the statute under
which I may be prosecuted, as taken from Purdon's Consolidated Statutes
for PA, is available at http://nyx10.cs.du.edu:8001/~anon2c9e/threat, as
are related statutes.
Shortly thereafter, the State
College police came to my job at AccuWeather and produced a sheaf of my
posts. I was fired on the spot.
Gene Ingram had already left town
to harass Edward Lottick, father of a cult victim whose suicide was
documented in the Time article "The Thriving Cult of Greed and Power,"
an article which spawned the Fishman-Geertz lawsuit and can thus be seen
to be connected with the current conflict. Apparently, he posed as a
Medicaid official.
This is the situation. I have been
suddenly left with no resources whatever nor any way to do so much as
pay my rent. I was really hoping not to be forced into this, but--you
guessed it--I'm going to hit you up for money at this point.
Here's the address, suitable for
.siggifying, tossing onto web pages, or just scrawl it on a scrap of
paper:
Make out check or money order to:
Robert W. Clark
P. O. Box 222
State College, PA 16804-0222
Please write "SAVE HENRY'S ASS" in
the memo field of the check.
The Save Henry's Ass Movement
(SHAM) is _not_ a defense fund. It is _not_ a 501(c)(3) tax-exempt
organization, and therefore donations will _not_ be tax-deductible. In
fact, it isn't even an organization. It's just a name I made up. It
seemed like a good idea at the time.
You may, if you wish such to be
known, provide your name, address and phone number. However, as you may
know, it is probably safer to send it anonymously. Nevertheless, you
will all have my gratitude. I may think of something to send to hundred
dollar donators or something, maybe a tear-stained certificate of slack
or something, but I can't quite work up to the cheesiness of that quite
yet.
Give me time.
Money sent to this fund will be
used to meet the immediate needs of paying rent and keeping the
electricity on and food in my refrigerator. It may even buy me a pack of
cigarettes. I might even use it to buy peanut butter, if I'm required to
dodge the draft any time soon.
If I am indicted based on this
crippled dog of a case it will at that point become a defense fund, and
perhaps even a 501(c)(3) organization. If I am not, and this emergency
passes, any excess funds, should such exist, will be recycled preferably
to a 501(c)(3) organization which I believe would be a good idea for
someone who knows about such things to create.
Such an organization would serve as
an umbrella fund for the defense of any other persons harassed by the
criminal cult, and cover incidental expenses concomitant to such
harassment. However, the position I'm in makes me rather
less than a credible founder of this organization. It needs to be
founded by someone who is not in legal hot water themselves and funds
controlled by a Board of Directors of impeccable credibility.
Should such a 501(c)(3)
organization not exist, I'll split it up at my own discretion between
any such defense funds as still exist. My own emergency situation may be
transitory, but repercussions will no doubt continue for some time.
I know I'll find it rather
difficult to explain to any local employers precisely why there's a big
black spot on the last year or so of my history, despite having
performed all my duties of employment. Even my letter of discharge does
not state any duty which I failed to perform.
In any case, I will let the
following testimonials for this fund attest to the excellence of my
character.
- - ---
"Can't you see he's a CON-MAN? This henry person is obviously a
psychopath, a pathological liar, and a career criminal. Don't you know
about how he got out of gym class by dressing in a cheerleader's outfit,
smearing his hair with Smucker's strawberry jelly and singing 'I'm a
Little Teapot?' Don't you?
ARRRRRGH! ARS BIGOTS PERSECUTE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY!"
-- Rick "ferSure" Wood
"Even as a child, he was already
precocious in a taste for crime. Already prescribed the pernicious psych
drug Ritalin, it was obvious to all that this child would come to no
good end. You see before you now the culmination of the
psychiatric atrocity."
-- A. A. Milne, author of "Winnie
the Shrink"
"Not only that, I hear he's FAT.
Real fat! When he sits around the house, he SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!"
-- Virulena Wallace
- - ---
As this glowing praise makes easily apparent, I am obviously of sterling
character, a fine person and all that, so SEND ME YOUR MONEY! PLEASE! An
eight-hundred mile-high L. Ron Hubbard appeared to me in a dream last
night and said he'd "sell me to the Marcabs" if I didn't get
LOTS OF MONEY REAL SOON!
Make out check or money order to:
Robert W. Clark
P. O. Box 222
State College, PA 16804-0222
Please write "SAVE HENRY'S ASS" in
the memo field of the check.
- - --
I thank you. The Net thanks you. Xenu thanks you.
(Lest my levity make you think
otherwise, I'll state on the record that the situation is actually
pretty serious. I just refuse to _take_ it that way. If I did, I'd go
nuts.)
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